Biologists tracking a member of the local population of wolves - estimated at somewhere between 4 and 32,000 - were quite surprised to see a small rectangular object stuck to its hind quarters. Closer inspection revealed it to be a crudely made sign saying “I (heart) Asphalites”.

A den was also discovered with pups sleeping on pictures of hybrid cars and people in urban attire, along with miscellaneous “Help the Wolves” brochures. Outside the den were thoroughly chewed copies of wolf-sighting reports and “Smoke” a Pack a Day decals, presumably not related to wolf recovery efforts.

Loyal to the scientific method the biologists would not draw any immediate conclusions.

When told about the find, county officials took a moment from cleaning and re-loading their rifles to think about the ramifications. After a brief executive session they concluded that it was good news the wolves were apparently running scared.

“Besides,” said one official, “we just hired Ted Nugent as the new land use planner for the Methow so I don’t expect this to develop into anything to be concerned about.”

That might also explain the recent rumor that the old Sam’s Place building in Winthrop is slated to be the first Ted’s Weapon Superstore in the state.