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Mazama Residents Suffering from Baguette Syndrome "Man," exclaimed a Mazama resident as he exited the local clinic recently, "you wouldn't think a little flour and yeast could do that to you." The person is one of many in the Mazama area who have recently suffered a malady never seen in the area until the Mazama store started selling salted baguettes. An investigation by the carbohydrates division of the National Institutes of Health concluded the syndrome was quite serious, referring to it as hyperdoughcemia. "You know", said a store employee who asked to remain anonymous, "we sell about 100 of those suckers every day and there are only about 60 people living around here so. . . you do the math." A store regular explained, while buying a fresh baguette, that the first symptom is a wet cough and a feeling like your stomach has solidified. "Then there's this odd mix of being full of energy and, at the same time, wanting to just sit in a La-Z-Boy and watch golf." The store offered to help out by not selling the baguettes anymore but a crowd of coughing, red-eyed customers scratching at the windows made the owners recant. 4/1/2012 Comments
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