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New Winthrop Bridge to be Moved

Winthrop town officials quietly announced plans to move the new Spring Creek bridge 12 feet upstream. A faulty title search and subsequent claim by the owner of the land where the bridge now sits led to the decision.

"I suppose we could just buy the land", said an anonymous town source, "but, to be honest, I really miss the big crane. It's also a good chance to get rid of more of those useless trees along the river."

The Spring Creek Bridge has been controversial since it’s conception over a decade ago. Originally, former councilperson Clevis Brandywine envisioned a new marketing scheme built around wading the river to get to town. After this idea became unpalatable to local business owners, momentum surged towards the bridge.

"There's still potential", said Brandywine, "for tourism based on climbing the towers and throwing things in the river."

Costs for the project will come from the title search company's Cayman Islands account and a new Harley Davidson tollbooth.




Have a comment?

I don't think they will be able to move the bridge. I have documentation that at least one grizzly and two wolves are in residence on and under the bridge. It appears that the wolves are working on preparing a Den for their young under the bridge and it appears to be lined with recycled and torn pieces of the Methow Valley News. When interviewed (from a distance) they categorically stated "If our disability claims go through, we will only require the taking of approximately one out of every twenty bridge users to sustain our normal caloric uptake". Upon further questioning and "off the record" they elaborated that this figure was an estimate and that the tally would vary with the season and stated that they would attempt to 'cull our herd' selecting primarily tourists with a small pocketbook.

Richard Karro

Rural Methow, near the town of Yellowjacket

I love you guys. Happy April Fools to you too!!

Nadine Van Hees


And I have a bridge between Brooklyn and Manhattan that is for sale for one buck!

Mother Superior